MOVING
Before we could get keys and move in, our new landlord said he needed to have a plumber come. But he said he'd contact us shortly, as soon as the drains were sorted out. That was the 25th. By 31st he still hadn't made contact so I got in touch with him. He told me he'd been trying to communicate with us (though he had two email addresses and two phone numbers and no attempt reached any of them). He explained that the mailboxes are found in the common area inside the front door of the house and that we could find the keys in the mailbox any time after 10am on the 1st. So I arrived early, as ever, and sat at a near-by cafe until 10:20, then went to the front door, which was locked, and noticed two mail boxes, labelled "c" and "ab" on the front stoop (not inside the house). Neither had any keys in them. I loitered there assuming the landlord was just running late. At 10:40 I decided I would check the back door and, if he wasn't around, to contact him. As I went to the back the owner and his wife came out of the apartment. They had a stack of keys and were messing about with them. We exchanged hellos, he reiterated that he was unable to get through to us via email, that there was some kind of technical error which had nothing to do with him, and then handed me a pair of keys. Hilarious. Following this I set up a date and time for a walk-through with the building owner of the previous apartment. He told me the new building owners would have possession at that point and as such he wasn't sure if he would be doing the walk-through, if the new people would be doing it, or if they'd both be there but that I could come for 10:00am on Thursday. On the day, I went early to make sure everything was perfect. It was. 10:00 came and went. I waited another twenty minutes then messaged the old landlord. (We've only ever communicated via text message or email.) When there was still no response at 10:45 I left to the cafe nearby and messaged again. I called at 11:30 and again at noon. He then answered and explained he no longer owned the building. Confused, I said "alright, but", and asked about the walk-through. He said the new owner would be taking care of it and I would have to sort it out with them. I reminded him that he gave me a specific meeting time (which was two hours ago), that I haven't been contacted by the new owners, had no information about them, never mind contact details. I then asked for their phone number. He said he didn't have it on him and that he'd have to call me back. I hung up. At 12:20 he texted a name and number. I called the new owner who said he was very busy today and through the weekend but would be happy to set an appointment for 9am on Monday. Of course. On moving day we discovered the light over the entrance at the new apartment doesn't work. In the kitchen, the faucet was not attached to the sink, so that when the handle is pulled to run the water the whole apparatus jumps out of the counter. A bolt plus some caulking would seem appropriate, but I'm no plumber. Also missing: the cover plate to the outlet at the kitchen counter, as well as the flooring under part of the oven and in the four inch gap between it and the counter, which is just raw concrete. The oven also has no working clock, timer or light (and it's not the fuse). Oh, and one of the four burners is out as well. (But, so cheap and sad and old, it's remarkable that the thing functions at all, so.) The fan in the hood vent over the stove is in fine working order, though the screen to it is clogged with grease, but it does not vent to the outside and instead just blows air at your face. (Which wouldn't be a problem except that the kitchen window is painted closed and the smoke alarm catches any amount of smoke or heat from the oven, making baking almost impossible.) Only two of four windows in the bedroom open. And the second door in the bedroom, the one which leads to the room at the base of the stairs at the front door inside the house, we were told was locked on both sides; but not only is the door not locked on both sides but the lock is broken such that turning the dial in either direction doesn't relate at all to the movement, or sometimes lack of movement, of the deadbolt. This door also doesn't fit its frame well at all, with considerable gaps on the sides and top (such that standard weather stripping doesn't fill the gap) and a one inch space at the bottom — with cold air blowing in through it, of course. The shower drain also does not drain, allowing for a thirty-five second shower before the bottom of the shower fills and floods the bathroom. (So it appears that the week we spent waiting for the plumber was unproductive.) Oh and the shower head is gross and broken. Too, the bathroom window doesn't open due to the latch being painted over so many times that it cannot move far enough away from its catch to actually release. Classic move. The baseboard heater gets too hot and has caused the paint on the wall to bubble and appears to have almost caused a fire. And then there's the laundry. I've never had in-suite laundry. Pretty dreamy. However, I found the drier venting is not attached to the wall or the machine and was only rigged up, at some point, using sad duct tape. So, instead of venting, the drier exhausts into a small room, more like a large closet, with no ventilation (here there is also a large window that should open but does not.) And rather than stacking, and providing some storage in this apartment with virtually no storage or closet space, the washer and drier are placed side-by-side. And, though the room has a door jam that clearly once held a door, for no apparent reason the laundry room is absent a door. (Probably because sound is never an issue with in-suite laundry, what with washers and driers being silent.) Also non-functioning is the doorbell. It's there, attached to the wall outside with two screws, only, I looked, and there's no wiring behind it. Brilliant. And all this for only $2000 a month!
But the fun continued. Before moving in I'd set up an appointment to have internet installed in the new place. When I called I got the automated system, which totally failed. I was eventually sent to someone who first asked for my account details and other verification information. Then they told me they wouldn't be able to help but would bump me over to someone who could; though before doing so, for some reason, they assured me that all the info already shared would be passed along as well. When I was connected, the person on the other end belched loudly, apologized, and the asked for all my details and proof of ID. Of course. She then disappeared and left me on hold for what felt like too long — presumably to check when I could have my internet installed, which I assumed would be on the screen in front of her (however the phone company and ISP has maybe seen the light and moved from digital back to a system of paper and mechanical punch cards.) Next was the good bit. She told me that we could have the install appointment set up for the end of the week, Friday the 5th. That would work just fine. But then on the 3rd I got an email confirmation spelling out that the date for the install was the 12th. Then before I could communicate with them another email arrived, this one from the installation guy, asking if I wanted to reschedule for the morning of the 4th. When they arrived that day, they couldn't find the connection on the street pole as expected. Rather than running a short line from the closest pole, which the fellow said was physically possible, policy dictated they had to run a new line from two blocks away requiring the services of a bucket truck and an additional four hours.
