ISRAEL-PALESTINE QUIZ

A FEW BASIC FACTS AND THINGS I NEVER HEAR

• Choose the answer that best fits your understanding of the situation

• If you don't know the answer, look it up!

• Feel free to submit corrections (with references) or additional questions (if those questions involve facts you seldom hear in public discourse on the topic)

PART ONE

CONTEXT FOR ANY DISCUSSION OF THE ARAB-ISRAELI CONFLICT

The Arab-Israeli Conflict is:

1. Complicated beyond belief!

2. Complicated? Compared to what? Effectively the entire history is documented in photographs!

Palestinians and Israelis are:

1. So very different in every conceivable way

2. Are far more similar on so many fronts and with far less conflict and fewer grievances between them than the many linguistically, culturally, and spiritually disparate parties that came together to form the impossibly diverse nation that is Canada

A "two-state solution":

1. Is much more challenging and improbable than Canada’s 50-state-solution

2. Requires two willing partners

As well as being backed by Iran, Qatar, and Turkey, significant support for Palestinians comes from:

1. China and Russia

2. The UN and countless NGOs

3. The United States

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

This ongoing conflict has always been and remains between:

1. Likud and Hamas

2. Palestinians and Israelis

3. Arabs and Jews

4. The Muslim world and the West

5. The forces of Good and Evil

What is presently identified as Israel:

1. Is relatively uninhabited and uninhabitable deserts: the Araba, Judean, Negev, and Zin

2. Was a set of malaria-infested swamps they transformed into thriving towns and cities; one of which, Tel Aviv, is second only to Silicon Valley as the world's tech hub

3. Is tiny relative to the vast tracts of land it came to control, such as Egypt's Sinai Peninsula, after repelling so many coordinated attempts at their annihilation; the returning of which was the price they paid in their search for lasting peace

4. All of the above

If the term "indigenous" has any meaning at all then Jews are indigenous to what is now called Israel. They were colonized and ethnically cleansed from their homeland many times over the eons and folks continue in this pattern. Zionism, then, is the Jewish decolonization movement:

1. True

2. False

3. Neither 1 nor 2

From antiquity, the closest thing we have in name to the modern day people we call “Palestinians” were the “Philistines.”

1. It is likely the Philistines were seafarers originating from the Aegean, probably Crete, who settled near what is now Gaza and mixing with the local Canaanites in a land then known as Canaan

2. Though a definite origin is uncertain, the most accepted derivation for the name Palestine is that it was coined by the Greeks, who used the name Palæstina, or 'the place of the Philistines’, to label the Philistine-occupied corner of Canaan

3. According to Biblical accounts, the Philistines frequently made war with the Israelites

4. Eventually the unique Philistine culture went extinct due to their assimilation after successive wars with and domination by the Assyrians and Babylonians

5. All of the above

6. None of the above

Ancient synagogues are found in:

1. Algeria, Egypt, Libya, Tunisia

2. Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Iraq, Afghanistan, and India

3. Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, Austria, Bulgaria, Hungary, Slovenia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Italy, and Greece

4. All of the above

From the 4th century to the middle of the 7th (roughly 380-634 AD), much of the land bordering the Mediterranean was territory controlled by the:

1. Byzantine Empire (also known as the Eastern Roman Empire)

2. Miao-Hmong Dynasty

3. United Colanderian Republic of the Pastafarian Peoples of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (UCRPPFSM)

Though little is known of the pre-Islamic religions of Arabia, we do know:

1. Pilgrimage was a significant feature of Arabian paganism

2. A key pegan pilgrimage site in Arabia was Mecca, which housed the Kaaba

3. People in the area worshipped gods such as al-Lat, al-Uzza, Hubal, and Manat

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

After the Arabian Peninsula was taken by conquest in 632, under the Rashidun Caliphate lead by Abu Bakr, they then began incursions into:

1. The local Walmart and Target (but there was never any parking, making respectable conquest impossible)

2. Byzantine and Sasanian Empires

By 643, the Rashiduns:

1. Had subjugated much of what are present-day Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, and Iran, including northern Egypt and Libya — resulting in the collapse of the Byzantine and Sasanian Empires and the native religions of Manichaeism, Mazdakism, and Zoroastrianism

2. Were ready to give back the land they stole, establishing a strategy for truth and reconciliation that would eventually rekindle the peoples, faiths, and cultures they systematically exterminated

Founded in Anatolia at the end of the 13th century, by the 16th century the Ottoman Empire, under Suleiman the Magnificent, controlled much of the land bordering:

1. The Mediterranean, Red Sea, and Black Sea

2. Sea of Tranquility and Sea that has Become Known

Starting in the early 19th century, the American Colonization Society helped send many thousands of people — people who would form an elite minority that saw themselves as superior and, as such, happy to enslave the indigenous population — to voluntarily colonize: 

1. Palestine

2. Israel

3. Syria and Iraq

4. Egypt and Libya

5. Liberia

The plan hatched in Mecca for a post-Ottoman Middle East would have seen:

1. Independent homelands for all the indigenous tribes in the region, obviously

2. One Arab state stretching across the Arabian Peninsula and north to Turkey and, of course, all of that controlled from Mecca

After the defeat of the Ottoman Empire in the Great War (aka WWI), the League of Nations Mandate:

1. Gifted the whole region to Italy, France, and Britain as treasure for their conquest

2. Allowed Saudi Arabia to annex the entire region as they always wished

3. Partitioned the area with internationally agreed terms for administration including protections for minority rights

The Mandate for Palestine:

1. Included no acknowledgement (and thus no obligations or rights) to any peoples referring to themselves as "Palestinians"

2. Required Britain to follow through on the Balfour Declaration, providing a "national home for the Jewish people"

3. Was later partitioned into Mandatory Palestine and the Emirate of Transjordan

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

On April 4th, 1920:

1. Aref al-Aref, journalist and editor of Suriya al-Janubia, the first Arab nationalist publication, helped foment a murderous riot by delivering a speech offering his audience that, "If we don't use force against the Zionists and against the Jews, we will never be rid of them!" He was later heard, on horseback riding through the mob, shouting "Palestine is our land and the Jews our dogs!"

2. A mob stormed the Jewish Quarter of the Old City, attacking the minority there in an orgy of looting, rape, and murder

3. The bulk of the casualties of what came to be known as the Nebi Musa Riots were old men, women, and children — members of a community who lived in the city as long as anyone could remember and were not part of any oppressive Zionist occupation

4. All of the above

The other leader of the Nebi Musa Riots was the brother of the mayor of Jerusalem, a young Islamist agitator named Haj Amin al-Husseini. For his good deeds:

1. Al-Husseini was immediately pardoned by the British administration of Mandate Palestine

2. He was appointed to the role of Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, where the 26-year old would oversee all the Muslim holy sites in the city

3. Al-Husseini was soon elected as the president of the Supreme Muslim Council, making the young rioter the most powerful political and religious leader around

4. All of the above

In August of 1929 the Grand Mufti was back to his old antics. Al-Husseini whipped up thousands of zealots:

1. To engage in a whole series of massacres against the Jewish population throughout the region

2. Who attacked two dozen cities, towns, and villages, some of which were completely destroyed and with most evacuating any survivors to other areas

3. Who committed a stunning level of violence across the territory. The British High Commissioner who toured the impacted areas reported home on the circumstance in the city of Hebron, sharing that "the horror of it is beyond words"

4. The British inquiry looking into the causes and results of the violence reported "unspeakable atrocities" that could not possibly have been justified by any prior injury to the Arabs. The report also noted a lack of consideration and basic protection required by British forces while also acknowledging that hundreds of Jews were saved by their Arab neighbours who provided sanctuary from riotous mobs in their own homes

5. All of the above

Al-Husseini spent the Second World War:

1. Composing sacred poetry in a cave somewhere

2. Thinking about what he had done and where his life was headed

3. Organizing a pro-Axis coup in Iraq and an SS Division of Bosnian Muslims, touring Nazi prison camps, broadcasting Arabic-language radio fomenting hatred for the Jews as a requisite feature of Islam, and getting his soulmate Adolph to promise to eliminate the Jewish scourge in the Arab world as soon as they were finished with all their fine work in Europe

With the end of WWII and the revelations of the Holocaust, al-Husseini:

1. Was finally prosecuted for his many heinous crimes and evil deeds

2. Refused overtures from the Muslim Brotherhood

3. Vehemently opposed a pan-Arab war of extermination against Israel (involving Egypt, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Syria, Transjordan, and the Palestinian Arab nationalist Army of the Holy War)

4. Turned down a governing position in Gaza when the Kingdom of Egypt took control

5. None of the above

As a result of a strong nationalist movement growing since the 19th century, ongoing regional conflict and larger geopolitical realities, and inspired by Two-Nation Theory, in 1947 the British partitioned:

1. Northern Ireland from Ireland

2. Bangladesh from Pakistan

3. North and South Korea

4. Singapore and Malaysia

5. Slovakia and Czech Republic

6. South Sudan from Sudan

7. Ethiopia and Eritrea

8. Pakistan off from India, enabling the establishment of an independent Muslim state (which, of course, is one of twenty such states in Asia alone)

Arabs in Palestine began broadly identifying as Palestinian:

1. With the first collision of the African and Arabian tectonic plates

2. Shortly after the Muslim Conquest

3. Sometime during the many centuries of Ottoman occupation

4. When the British began administering the territory as a consequence of WWI

5. In 1937, with the rise of Fascism in Europe

6. Really only after Israel declared independence

Since Israel's declaration of independence:

1. Most Arab states have purged themselves of their long-standing Jewish populations, numbering in the many hundreds of thousands and with no 'right-of-return' or compensation for their loss

2. Most Arab and many Muslim nations have prohibited Israelis and even anyone who has travelled to Israel from visiting, working, or living there

3. Many Arab and Muslim nations have prohibited their citizens from travelling to Israel

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

The "right of return" Palestinians and allies talk about is:

1. A human right enshrined in international law and applies to all Palestinians and their family members for all time

2. Comes from a UN General Assembly resolution from 1948, speaks only to people who fled or were forcibly removed their homes, applies only to those wishing to "live at peace with their neighbours", and is at most a recommendation and not a legally binding sanction

Since its independence, Israel has embraced:

1. Dub and EDM

2. C++ and HTML

3. BDSM and LGBTQ

4. Millions of Palestinians, Arabs, and Muslims as citizens, workers, students, and guests. Along with providing essential services sustaining Israel, these folks also hold key roles within major institutions including corporations, universities, the courts, and in government, helping plan and build her future

5. All of the above

6. None of the above

Israel was:

1. A profoundly socialist country at its founding, and was so for a generation, with Leftists being strongly over-represented in its military

2. Founded as a right-wing, ethnonationalist, European settler-colony, with former German and Ukrainian neo-Nazis composing its genocidal army

The simplest and most obvious evidence of Israel being a uniquely ethnonationalist apartheid state is:

1. Israel's demographics (74% Jewish, 18% Muslim, 2% Christian) and the nation's ubiquitous trilingual (Arabic, English, Hebrew) documentation and signage

2. The demographics of Egypt (87% M, 13% C, 0.000005% J) and Syria (87% M, 10% C, 0.0000002% J)

3. The demographics of Indonesia (87% M, 10% C, 0.0000001% J) and Pakistan (90% M, 1% C, 0.0000008% J)

4. Jordan's demographics (97% M, 2.5% C, 0% J)

5. None of the above. You would have to reject the definition of both terms, apartheid and ethnonationalist, to get either to apply to Israel. Doing so, of course, would cause every other nation on earth to also fit these labels, making your argument pointless

Gaza and the West Bank were:

1. Occupied in recent centuries by the Ottomans

2. Liberated by the Europeans with essential contributions by the Arabs in the early 20th century

3. Controlled by the Jordanians and Egyptians from the middle of the 20th century

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

The 1967 Khartoum Resolution, an agreement between Palestine and her friends, set out a simple road map for future relations with Israel:

1. “Mutual understanding, mutual aid, mutual prosperity"

2. “No peace with Israel, no negotiation with Israel, no recognition of Israel.”
   

Black September is the other name for the Jordanian Civil War that broke out on September 16th, 1970. The conflict:

1. Was between Yasser Arafat’s Palestinian Liberation Organization (backed by Syrians) and Jordan, led by King Hussein

2. Started after Palestinian fedayeen guerillas retreated to Jordan, having lost the Six-Day War against Israel, where they began calling for the overthrow of Jordan’s monarchy, declared Jordanian cities "liberated" while partitioning them with checkpoints to harass and extort money from locals, and eventually took to hijacking and blowing up civilian passenger flights

3. Resulted in the Jordanian Army shelling the refugee camps these terrorists operated out of, destroying the Syrian troops illegally occupying the town of Irbid, and expelling the remaining fedayeen — who, incidentally, relocated to Lebanon where they felt compelled to dominate, initiating what became the decades-long Lebanese Civil War

4. All of the above

The events of Black September inspired the creation of the Palestinian Black September Organization, who carried out reprisal attacks in response to their expulsion from Jordan, including the assassination of Jordanian PM Wasfi Tal. In 1972, Black September terrorists:

1. Renounced violence and started fundraising to build hospitals, homes, and community gardens

2. Built a radio station (PBSO). They broadcast twelve channels, one for each school grade, providing free, day-long universal education to anyone with access to a radio

3. Infiltrated the Munich Olympic Village with the assistance of West German neo-Nazis, killing two Israeli Olympians and taking nine others hostage while demanding the release of 234 criminals from Israeli jails

4. Decided to make an example of one of their hostages: Yossef Romano, who tried to overpower the terrorists early in the attack, was riddled with bullets, castrated, and left to die at the feet of his fellow hostages

5. Neither 1 nor 2

6. Both 3 and 4

The above event became known as the Munich Olympics Massacre because:

1. The Palestinians failed to medal in any Track and Field or Swimming competitions

2. Only terrorists of Arafat’s Black September died in the attack and hostage-taking

3. Aside from the initial killing of hostages, the rescue attempt by German authorities was thwarted, resulting in the terrorists shooting half their captives with their Kalashnikovs and tossing a grenade into and blowing up a helicopter, incinerating the rest of the bound Israelis inside

In the aftermath of the massacre:

1. The Arab world condemned attacks against civilians and committed themselves to combating such extremism within their borders and anywhere it was found around the world

2. The bodies of five attackers killed by German police were taken to Libya where they were received as heroes and buried with full military honours

3. Egypt, Lebanon, and Syria formed Special Intelligence Units (SIUs) to work covertly within schools and religious institutions to undermine the radicalism doing so much damage to their international image and foreign relations

4. The three gunmen arrested during the attack were held in a Munich prison for trial. But, prior to trial, Lufthansa Flight 615 was hijacked and threatened to be blown up if the terrorists held in Munich were not immediately released, which they were

5. Both 1 and 3

6. Both 2 and 4

As a result, Israel’s intelligence agency, Mossad:

1. Initiated a covert assassination program, called Operation Bayonet, seeking to hunt down individuals involved in the planning and execution of the Munich massacre

2. Was badly embarrassed by a public inquiry that included revelations they should have known the attack was imminent and been able to prevent it

3. Failed to hunt down the mastermind of the massacre: math teacher, lawyer, militant, and founder of Fatah, leader of Black September, Mohammad Daoud Oudeh

4. Eventually disbanded in shame

5. Neither 1 nor 3

6. Neither 2 nor 4

In July of 1976, Ugandan dictator Idi Amin welcomed hijacked Air France flight 139 to Entebbe airport.

1. The terrorists were Israelis and Russian Jews, aided by Hungarian Leftists seeking a settler-colony ('homeland') in the Arabian Peninsula

2. The terrorists belonged to the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), included two Germans, and were assisted by West German neo-Nazis

The hijacking:

1. Was intended to gain attention for the liberation of Gaza and the suffering of oppressed peoples around the world

2. Sought to coerce the exchange of 248 innocent civilian passengers for 53 militants

After arriving in Uganda:

1. Amin sent the terrorists 100 Ugandan soldiers for support

2. Negotiators eventually won the release of 148 non-Israeli hostages who were then flown to Paris

3. Both of the above

4. None of the above

From there:

1. With the help of Quebec separatists, the PFLP started a maple syrup forgery operation out of a cement factory just outside in Kampala, employing their captives as slave labour

2. Yasser Arafat's grandmother, Yessa, head of the PFLP communications team, was killed during an attempted rescue operation on the Kampala maple syrup lab by Israeli forces

3. With help from Kenya, Israeli commandos undertook a rescue operation that saw the killing of all the hijackers and 45 Ugandan soldiers, the release of 102 Jewish and Israeli hostages but the loss of three others

4. Benjamin Netanyahu’s brother, Yonatan, head of an elite Israeli commando unit, was the sole rescuer killed during the operation

5. 1 and 2, obviously

6. 3 and 4 seem more likely

In response to all this, Uganda's dictator:

1. Ordered the killing of all Kenyans living in Uganda, resulting in 245 deaths and thousands fleeing for their lives

2. Admitted his error and sent a delegation to Jerusalem to beg forgiveness

Palestinians have never explained what the Second Intifada was actually about:

1. "Fact"

2. "No way"

The Second Intifada:

1. Came after Israel had pulled its military out of every Palestinian population center

2. Followed the establishment of the Palestinian Authority, who received $1 billion from the European Union and the United States and a security force trained and funded by the US

3. Arrived immediately before what everyone assumed would be the announcement and enactment of an unprecedented deal in which Palestinians would receive what they claimed they wanted and the Israeli Left said would bring lasting peace and security

4. Yeah, all of that

The Second Intifada:

1. Saw a wave of 140 suicide bombings, month after month for years, terrorizing as it transformed Israeli society

2. Was mindless violence perpetrated by Islamic Jihad, al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades, Hamas, Fatah, the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, and the Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine, all of who would have had crushed their entire shared worldview and reason for being

3. All of the above

4. None of the above

The Second Intifada:

1. Like, October 7th, was planned in advance to derail peace

2. Forever killed the Two-State Solution for the vast majority of Israeli Jews and caused what had always been a politically left-leaning nation to take a dramatic and ever-advancing swing to the right

3. Both

4. Neither

Since the Second Intifada the Israeli Left has:

1. Never won another election since the violence of the Second Intifada

2. Only ever grown stronger

In 2006 Hamas came to power in Gaza, fought with and killed much of its opposition and those who supported them (with around 600 Palestinians executed.) Hamas also started doing battle with Israeli defence forces, which eventually resulted in at truce agreement on November 26th.

1. Facts, just facts

Hamas then launched:

1. A cool new social media platform called Batik-hajaw

2. Hundreds of rocket attacks against Israel, despite the truce declaration

The refusal of Hamas to recognize the state of Israel or prior agreements, and their unwillingness to commit to nonviolence, resulted in:

1. The UN, EU, US, Western states, Russia, and Arab states imposing sanctions and the suspension of foreign aid

2. As usual, a huge win for regular, ever-day Palestinians

Along with these sanctions:

1. As an alternative to a ground war with Hamas, Egypt and Israel imposed a blockade on Gaza to prevent the Palestinians from smuggling arms and resources that could be easily converted into weapons

2. Israel alone imposed an unreasonable set of restrictions on all vital resources and, obviously, aimed at killing as many Palestinians as possible. Like, obviously

In 2008, Palestinians blasted a hole in Egypt's Gaza border fortifications. This resulted in:

1. An open border and fewer walls going forward

2. Egypt building a larger and more robust stone and cement border wall

3. An unbreakable friendship between the people of Gaza and Egypt

4. As much as half of the population of Gaza (maybe 750,000) pouring into the Sinai Peninsula

5. Obviously 1 and 3

6. 2 and 4, obviously

In 2013, Gaza had one open border crossing. That was its Rafah crossing with Egypt. Hamas saw a civil war brewing in Egypt and felt it just had to get involved, resulting in:

1. Egypt slamming the border gate closed for five years

2. Unprecedented goodwill resulting in thriving travel and trade

Israel has constructed a vast network of barriers and a cutting-edge missile defence system:

1. As infrastructure aiding the expansionist Jewish Empire and in anticipation of their inevitable conquest of West Asia, the Arabian Peninsula, and North Africa ("From the sea to the desert to the sea" aka "C2D2C")

2. As passive, non-violent, defensive alternatives to endless combat with hostile neighbours who launch thousands of rockets and suicide bombing attacks annually, in endless pursuit of the murder of Jews and the destruction of Israel for the terrible crime of existing

Hamas constructed a vast network of underground tunnels:

1. As a long-term sustainability project providing neighbourhood shelters to protect the population from sandstorms and punishing heatwaves that promise to come with greater frequency due to climate change

2. For a seed storage project ensuring the preservation of global plant diversity for future generations

3. In a private-public partnership with Elon Musk's Boring Company to create a proof-of-concept for a fully subterranean city with the potential for accommodating as many as 35 million by 2050

4. For a Gaza-wide high-speed rail and pneumatic tube communications and food delivery system

5. To protect its defenceless population as it launches rocket attacks against Israel from within, on top of, and adjacent to homes and critical civilian infrastructure

6. To avoid Israeli detection and attack and facilitate a covert materiel and human smuggling operations into and out of Egypt and Israel

In the year following the overthrow of the Morsi government in Egypt, the Egyptian military said it had:

1. Unravelled a mysterious puzzle unlocking the secrets of the Sphinx

2. Given up the will to fight and was laying down its arms

3. Destroyed more than 1,600 tunnels built between Gaza and the Sinai and used for human and arms trafficking

In 2014, Egypt welcomed:

1. Beyonce and the newly crowned Queen of Gaza on a formal state visit

2. With the coordination of the Palestinian Authority, the flooding of Hamas terror and smuggling tunnels

Palestinian society, in coordination with UNRWA, has:

1. Never attempted to prepare the population for peace with their neighbours

2. Spent decades anticipating peace by educating their kids for a non-violent future of neighbourly togetherness

3. Spread a set of narratives designed to preclude peace with Israelis and Jews

4. Been endlessly preached to about the authenticity and legitimacy of the Zionist project

5. 1 and 3

6. 2 and 4

7. None of the above

What kids in Palestine learn is that peace with Israel:

1. Is a betrayal of Palestinian history, society, religion, and identity

2. Is, however difficult, inevitable and will result in tremendous mutual prosperity

"Most Gazans are children." This means:

1. Most of the population has only ever lived under Hamas

2. Most Gazans have been enculturated into the worst, most nihilistic set of worldviews imaginable

3. More Gazans than not think nothing like you and do not have similar beliefs or desires, having been raised by parents, school teachers, religious leaders, and popular media who endorse death and the murder of non-Muslims as noble aims to be supported and pursued as one might a passion for music or sport

4. All of the above

Islamofascist Mickey Mouse:

1. "Cannot possibly be a thing"

2. Was a favourite feature on al-Aqsa TV’s Tomorrow’s Pioneers. He and his friends taught a generation of Palestinian children and those in the broader Arabic-speaking world to seek their highest calling: martyrdom

Mahmoud Abbas, the president of Palestine and the person Israel was meant to negotiate with:

1. Is in his 15th year of a four-year term in office

2. Is, like his sons, mysteriously now worth something like $100 million

3. Likes to use his time in public denying the Holocaust, arguing that Ashkenazi Jews are not Semites and, thus, Hitler not an anti-Semite

4. Wrote and defended a doctoral thesis entitled “The Relationships Between Zionists and Nazis” as well as a subsequent book on the same theme. In these works he claims the Holocaust was not so bad and that the Jews conspired with the Third Reich to befoul and destroy the Middle East

5. While standing on German soil, Abbas (the brilliant historian and thought leader) responded to an inquiry about whether Germany could ever expect an apology for the Munich Olympics Massacre by telling the Germans they should get over it, drop their silly complaints and support for Israel, because Israel has committed “50 holocausts” against his people

6. All of the above

Hamas is:

1. Not an insurgency or terrorist group, though they use terrorist tactics

2. The government, rules over the population, holds territory, and operates a military

3. Both

4. Neither

The membership of Hamas' fighting force is:

1. Insignificant: maybe 3,000 people out of a population of millions

2. A small number: something like 5,000 or 10,000

3. According to Hamas: 30,000

4. Between 30,000 and 50,000 by most estimations

5. It’s irrelevant. Everyone in the region is encouraged to believe and behave the same. (What Hamas always has money for are uniforms and arms, because the world funds and provides Palestinians with everything else; but maybe you noticed that many of those doing the killing and kidnapping were not hardened soldiers in uniform or wielding military gear but were regular Palestinians, sometimes kids and women, in flip flops and soccer jerseys carrying meat cleavers)

Palestinian militant groups with similar motivations, tactics, and aims to Hamas are:

1. So small and ineffective as to be irrelevant

2. Influential and numerous, with each having large memberships equal in size to branches of the Canadian military (despite Gaza having just a fraction of the population to draw from)

If Hamas alone has a gun-toting membership of 30,000:

1. That’s plenty

2. That would make them many times the size of the Canadian Navy

3. Given that the overwhelming majority of Gazans are women, children, and the elderly, that would mean much of the male population are affiliated with an army, militant groups, or terrorist organizations

4. All of the above

Over the last century, across six wars and unrelenting waves of attacks from all sides, "the Zionist entity" has:

1. Killed and displaced fewer Arabs than just one year of the Syrian Civil War

2. Killed fewer Arabs than a single campaign of the Iran-Iraq War

3. All of the above

4. None of the above

While being labelled an “open-air prison” and "concentration camp" and said to be under an “apartheid regime”, one experiencing a systematic, multi-generational "campaign of extermination" and “genocide”, Palestine has:

1. Naturally, experienced a population and life expectancy collapse

2. Seen its population double and then double again, while life expectancy has shot up
   

The life expectancy in Gaza went from 45 in 1950 to 61 in 1980 and sits at 74 today. Over this same period, the life expectancy of Canadians:

1. Declined

2. Climbed at half the rate

3. Far exceeded that rate

The Palestinian life expectancy of 74:

1. Exceeds the global average of 71, is better than the Asian and African averages, and is higher than many of its neighbours, including Egypt, Oman, and Libya (none of whom are under devastating Israeli 'blockades, occupation, and oppression')

2. Is similar to the life expectancy of Jordanians and Moroccans and also that of peoples of the Americas

3. Is slightly lower than the European average

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

Palestinians have less severe food insecurity than:

1. Argentinians and Mexicans

2. Australians and Fijians

3. Malaysians and Thais

4. Uzbeks and Pakistanis

5. Egyptians and Lebanese

6. All of the above

The electrification rate for the population of Canada is 100%. The electrification rate for Gaza sits at:

1. 21%

2. 56%

3. 78%

4. 100%

In 2021, Canada had an inflation rate of 3.4% while Gaza’s was:

1. 220.8%

2. 67.1%

3. 14.3%

4. 1.2%

In 2021, Canada had a real GDP growth rate of 4.5% while Gaza’s was:

1. -0.2%

2. 2.7%

3. 4.5%

4. 7.0%

In 2021, Canada had an industrial production growth rate of 4.7% while Gaza’s was:

1. 6.2%

2. 4.7%

3. -4.4%

4. -6.3%

Today, the 'Arab homeland' consists of 22 states covering more than:

1. 67,500 sq/km

2. 742,300 sq/km

3. 13,100,000 sq/km

The 'Jewish homeland' is one state covering roughly:

1. 22,100 sq/km

2. 976,000 sq/km

3. 14,320,800 sq/km

When you poll Palestinians asking:

Which would you prefer? A) One democratic state, or B) Two-states; the response is typically something like:

1. A) 40%, B) 60%

2. A) 60%, B) 40%
   

When you poll Palestinians asking:

Which would you prefer? A) One democratic state, B) Two-states, or C) Liberation of the entirety of what was Mandate Palestine, from the river to the sea, as it were, as a Arab Muslim state; the response is often:

1. A) 5%, B) 10%, C) 85%

2. A) 20%, B) 75%, C) 5%
   

When you poll Palestinians asking:

What should happen after a historic agreement to form a two-state solution? A) Peaceful coexistence or B) Armed struggle for liberation of the entirety of what was Mandate Palestine as a Arab Muslim state (FR2S, by any means possible, intifada revolution); the response tends to be:

1. A) 80%, B) 20%

2. B) 20%, B) 80%
   

PART TWO

THE EVENTS OF OCTOBER 2023

The attack against Israel occurring on October 7th is known as:

1. Operation Al-Aqsa Flood ( عملية طوفان الأقصى )

2. Black Saturday ( השבת השחורה )

3. The October 7th attack

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

The operation began with Palestinian Islamist groups launching:

1. A new financial security app called West Bank 

2. The inaugural voyage of the steamship SS Yo Mama So Fat (a name that one out by just one vote to the runner-up: Boaty al-Boatface), memorializing former chairman of the PLO, Yasser Arafat

3. 5,000 rockets from Gaza into Israel in under 20 minutes, according to Mohammed al-Masri, the head of the Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades

As a result of the rocket barrage, air raid sirens and explosions:

1. "Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there"

2. Went off all over Israel, in: Ashkelon, Beer Sheva, Gedera, Herzliyya, Jerusalem, Rehovot, Rishon Lezion, and Tel Aviv — from the river to the sea, including Gaza

Simultaneous with the rocket attacks:

1. The border gates were flung wide and walls came down, reminiscent of the Berlin wall demolition, leading to many thousands of Palestinians fleeing the oppression of the majority-backed death-cult and seeking asylum in neighbouring Israel and Egypt

2. Around 6,000 Palestinians infiltrated Israel through its border wall at more than 60 locations using bulldozers, trucks, motorcycles, speedboats, and powered paragliders

Of those 6,000 Palestinians:

1. Approximately 5,800 were Kalashnikov-toting militants (including: Hamas, Islamic Jihad, PLO, PLF, PLFP, DLFP, ALF, PAF, VPLW, Fatah, Tanzim, Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Army of Islam, Popular Resistance Committees, and the Sabireen Movement)

2. 3,800 were Hamas' elite navy commandos and the remainder were regular civilians eager to take this rare opportunity to loot and murder inside Israel

As the attack was launched, Mohammed Deif, military commander of Hamas, called on Palestinians everywhere to:

1. Join in the attack

2. Pray for victory

3. Donate medical equipment

The secular-socialist Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine (DFLP) and the Marxist-Leninist Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP):

1. Joined in the fun and shared images and videos of their enthusiastic involvement

2. Refused to participate in solidarity with the progressive leftist communities living within sight of the Gaza Strip

12 hours after Palestinians began their attack:

1. Israel’s military spokesman, Rear Admiral Daniel Hagari, said they were still fighting in 22 locations

2. Everything was back to normal

3. With prior approval of the UN Security Council and the Palestinian Authority, Israel nuked Khan Yunis and Rafah

The fighting:

1. Was over almost as quickly as it started

2. Was still taking place on October 10th

Attackers had methodically planned how to maximize the killing of civilians. We know this because:

1. They blinded the country to what was happening by targeting cellphone towers and cameras

2. They studied how Israelis would respond to an attack, such as running to shelters and armories, and coordinated their attacks on those locations while establishing ambushes at points rescue teams would have to come from

3. They carried booklets on their person about how to terrorize and kill civilians with greatest impact (while filming themselves doing so)

4. Many Hamas soldiers drugged themselves to enhance their capacity for rampage

5. All of the above

6. None of that

The intent of the invasion was to:

1. Fulfill their longstanding objective to destroy Israel (and kill all Jews) and to signal to their allies to rise up and do their part toward this shared aim

2. Enhance their relationship with Israelis and demonstrate that they should become a fully recognized member of the world community

The Israeli Defence Force claimed:

1. There were 21 high-confrontation areas, seven communities and the Erez border crossing came under militant control, with more than 20 communities rampaged

2. They immediately vanquished their enemy

3. There is “nothing to see here”

In a speech on al-Aqsa television, Hamas chief Ismail Haniyeh declared:

1. He would be seeking the nomination for president of the world

2. “We are on the verge of a great victory and clear conquest”

An estimated 247 people were captured and taken to Gaza by Palestinians on October 7th.

1. “That’s Zionist propaganda”

2. “Yeah, ‘estimated’”

3. “Many were elderly, women, and children”

Of those 247 hostages, 138 were foreign nationals. Those included:

1. Mostly American military contractors and oil company personnel

2. “None. That’s just more Zionist propaganda”

3. 54 Thais, 15 Argentinians, 12 Germans, 12 Americans, six French, six Russians, two Tanzanians, two Filipinos, one Chinese, one Sri Lankan

Of the roughly 1,200 killed, 328 were from some 40 different countries:

1. Four Filipinos, four Chinese, four Austrians, five Portuguese, five Romanians, six Canadians, nine Argentinians, 10 Germans, 10 Nepalese, 10 Russians, 12 Brits, 21 Ukrainians, 31 Americans, 33 Thais, 35 French, and more

2. “That’s an IDF cover-up. We all know they and the Israeli police did all the killing”

Ismail Haniyeh, Hamas’ leader-in-exile, explained that Palestinian factions intended to:

1. Call for a truce once they had sexually assaulted and killed enough Thai, Cambodian, and Filipino labourers

2. Expand the violence to the occupied West Bank and Jerusalem

Taher El-Nounou, a Hamas media adviser, responded by explaining:

1. He would like to see more Palestinians on TikTok

2. He "[hopes] the state of war with Israel will become permanent on all the borders, and that the Arab world will stand with [Hamas]"

Qatar's foreign ministry asserted that Israel alone:

1. Was responsible for the violence

2. Would take care of Hamas

PART THREE

THE REACTION

Israel responded to the attack by declaring:

1. That it was engaged in a decades-long, illegitimate occupation of Arab land and for the sole purpose of denying God's will and violating what would otherwise be a perfect universe

2. Its intent to launch a manned mission to Mars in 2026

3. War against Hamas and those supporting them

Calling the current conflict the “Israel-Hamas War” is:

1. Accurate, given that these are the two parties to the conflict

2. Ludicrous, given that these are not the parties to the conflict

The current conflict directly involves not just Hamas but also:

1. Regular Palestinians, numerous local militant groups, and factions found all over the region, including but not limited to Hezbollah and other Iranian surrogates within Turkey, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Iran, Qatar, and Yemen

2. 'Yo mamma'

Senior Hamas official Sami Abu Zuhri called:

1. For calm and a day of prayer

2. For acts of violence against American and British interests worldwide

3. Batman on his banana phone

Ghazi Hamad, a spokesman for Hamas, explained: 

1. “We are victims - everything we do is justified … Israel is a country that has no place on our land”

2. Israel has to be eliminated because it “constitutes a security, military, and political catastrophe to the Arab and Islamic nations.”

3. “The al-Aqsa Flood is just the first time, and there will be a second, a third, fourth” repeating October 7th “time and again until Israel is annihilated”

4. They had direct backing for the attack from Iran, which pledged to “stand by the Palestinian fighters until the liberation of Palestine and Jerusalem”

5. All of the above

The former head of Hamas, Khaled Meshaal, sent a recorded statement to Reuters calling for:

1. Greater care and concern for non-human animals

2. Calmer heads to prevail, the laying down of arms, and for everyone to be patient and allow investigators and courts to do their difficult work

3. Jordanian, Syrian, Lebanese, and Egyptian men and women to storm the borders of Israel and wipe it off the map. “This is a moment of truth ... you all know your responsibility,” he implored. “To all scholars who teach jihad … to all who teach and learn, this is a moment for the application of those theories.”

On October 8th:

1. All was quiet

2. The attack was still on. Palestinians killed 30 Israeli police after overwhelming the police station in Sderot

On October 9th:

1. Lebanon launched rockets into Israel while Hezbollah (largely Palestinian commandos) attempted to infiltrate the northern border of Israel

2. Israel announced that it called up 300,000 reserves and struck 130 targets in Gaza with its jets while cutting electricity to the region

3. Both 1 and 2

4. Neither 1 nor 2

Khaled Meshaal, former Hamas head, also publicly called for October 13th to be:

1. A day of quiet reflection throughout the region

2. The end of hostilities with a formal declaration of Palestinian statehood and a date for a peace treaty

3. Fundraising for Arab and Muslim social justice and LGBTQQIP2SAA organizations

4. A day of global jihad, “on the ground rather than just in theory”, for the entire Muslim world including the “Muslim diaspora around the world” “to fight and be martyrs for al-Aqsa” and for “the Mujahedeen to go in long caravans to spill [Jewish] blood on the land of Palestine”

At the same time Hamas publicly declared it would endlessly repeat October 7th until Israel was no more, Hamas chairman Ismail Haniyeh also offered in a televised speech that, if Israel agreed to a ceasefire and opening humanitarian corridors, Hamas:

1. Would bring back Islamofascist Mickey Mouse

2. Would be happy to commandeer all the incoming supplies, just as they always have

3. Was "ready for political negotiations for a two-state solution with Jerusalem as the capital of Palestine”

Worldwide, the October 7th attacks were commonly understood to be the responsibility of:

1. The oppressor: Israel

2. Israel and all of their dastardly Western supporters

3. The Hamas leadership and their enablers in Iran and Qatar 

4. The Palestinians who committed the acts

According to so much of the English-speaking world, Palestinians who crossed into Israel were:

1. “Merely a few bad apples”

2. “Seeking emancipation from their settler-colonialist oppressors”

3. “Enacting their enculturation and formal UN-endorsed education”

4. “Gleefully engaged in a horror so traumatizing that war would be inevitable”

According to polling conducted of Palestinians between October 31 and November 7th, roughly

1. 12% opposed the "operation carried out by Palestinian resistance"

2. 88% opposed the assault and its killing and kidnapping of civilians

In the same polling, the most popular understanding around the attack on Israel was:

1. That it was in response to recent activities surrounding the al-Aqsa mosque; that Western support for Israel is a result of the Israel lobby and their own economic interests in the region and not compassion for the victims of the attack; and that the resulting war is between Israel and Hamas/Palestinians, will certainly lead to Palestinian victory, the release of all Palestinian prisoners, and one Palestinian state 'from the river to the sea'

2. That a few bad actors committed barbaric acts justified only by the prison-like state of occupation and apartheid they are living under; that the resulting war is between the West and the Arab and Muslim worlds; and that Americans and Canadians boycotting and vandalizing Starbucks, Chapters, and Zara stores and Jewish-owned small business makes sense and is obviously hugely valuable to their cause

This same polling suggests Palestinians have far more trust in:

1. Islamic Jihad, al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, and Hamas

2. The Palestinian Authority, Iran, and the UAE

3. Russia, China, and Turkey

4. The UN and Red Cross

The attacks of October 7th resulted in:

1. Unprecedented displays of ignorance toward basic language, history, geography, and religion

2. Public enthusiasm for beheading and kidnapping innocents as a just response to any real or imagined oppression

3. Many thousands of ongoing anti-Israel rallies across the planet

4. The smoking out of hundreds of millions of anti-Semites (who would deny their anti-Semitism even as they publicly spread the talking-points and slogans of ISIS, Islamic Jihad, and Hamas and engage in unprecedented levels of hate-crimes in every corner of the planet)

5. All of the above

This attack has proven to be a Rorschach test.

1. “How so?”

2. “Yeah, a projective psychological examination exposing the legions of enthusiastic anti-Semites among us!”

3. “For sure. It flushed out so many of our friends and neighbours who can’t muster a coherent response to ‘the colonized’ and their supporters (anywhere and at any time and under any conditions) carrying out the mass execution of anyone determined to be a 'colonist' or supporting such (in any fictional or factual manner and to any degree at all)”  

4. “Yes, indeed!”

5. “Nah”

In the weeks and months that followed October 7th, Jewish homes, businesses, schools, community centres, and places of worship across Europe, North America, and Oceana:

1. Saw increased police patrols and enhanced security protocols

2. Were firebombed, shot at, and had windows broken 

3. Were vandalized with swastikas, Stars of David, and other anti-Semitic slogans 

4. All of the above

Folks gathered in the thousands in city centers around the globe sporting pictures, posters, banners, and t-shirts displaying:

1. Well-known flags, symbols, and personages of Fascism and terrorism

2. Slogans such as: “Zionism is genocide”, “Stop Israel’s genocide”, and “By any means necessary”

3. All the usual anti-democratic and anti-Western cliché and historical negationism we’ve come to expect

4. All of the above

In the immediate aftermath of an unprecedented pogrom and mass execution carried out by Palestinians, folks throughout the West (who had just spent a decade endorsing a kind of maximalist subjectivity paired with the idea that “words are violence”) were suddenly fine with:

1. “By any means necessary, from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!” and “Global intifada!” They argued in the streets, online, and in publications that any fool could see these chants were encoded, and as such meant to be decoded, as cries for peace and freedom — and that the perspectives of those feeling threatened was not merely irrelevant, with any sign of sympathy a perfect sign of one's ignorance

2. Referring to the indiscriminate kidnapping, mass execution, and corpse desecration of civilians young and old and from around the world as “brilliant, amazing”

3. All of the above

“From the river to the sea”

1. Is commonly understood to be a call for peace

2. Is a call for “freedom for all Palestinians” (unless you, the folks demanding that 'context matters', take into account any of the preceding events leading up to these current cries)

3. May be about freedom for Palestinians; but for this liberation to be considered complete, by those calling the shots in the region and so many in the broader Muslim world, requires the final expulsion or execution (“by any means necessary”) of the vast majority, or more, of Jews from any and all Arab lands. Go read a poll, any poll

If pro-Palestine chants and slogans were benign calls for peace and liberation and not praising of or incitement to violence:

1. You wouldn’t cloak them in obscurant language ensuring misinterpretation 

2. You wouldn’t pair those with threats in Arabic referencing past pogroms

3. You wouldn’t clarify with “by any means necessary” and claim this is inerrantly understood as a call for prayer, letter-writing campaigns, and the lobbying of government

4. All of the above

In response to the stories of survivors and the images of Palestinian atrocities, people who have for years carried signs, worn t-shirts, and employ social media banners and hashtags reading BelieveSurvivors and BelieveAllWomen, suddenly:

1. Were, as you would expect, demanding we believe survivors

2. Started an October 7th Truther movement. They argued, among many other bat-shit crazy things, that Palestinians are incapable of sexual violence or the killing of innocents, particularly children and babies, because acts of this sort violate their faith

People who have decried “scapegoating” and called everything under the sun “victim-blaming”, nevertheless:

1. Find it difficult to see how these apply to Israelis or Jews

2. Find it difficult to see how either applies to Palestinians or Muslims

We all watched as folks who’ve made a career challenging stereotypes and fighting for equal rights and better representation for minorities and historically oppressed groups suddenly:

1. Demanded Jewish symbols and holiday celebrations be muted, concealed, or removed from public view entirely

2. Sought the erasure of the last thousand years of expulsions and pogroms (and just about everything we know about the world), insisting that Jews, whoever and wherever they were, could not fall into either class (minority or oppressed) because of a set of untenable stereotypes and fraudulent, though popular, claims about “race”

3. Refused to acknowledge that Israel is tiny in size and population, the world’s only Jewish state, and came into being as a result of unending punishment and violence across the globe; oh, and that it is surrounded by many vast Muslim states with huge populations, many of whom have participated in or supported wars of extermination against Israel, some many times

4. All of the above

The same people who demand that a microaggression (that is "an indirect, subtle, or unintentional slight") in a college class justifies not merely campus safe-spaces but also special protections, pre-emptive warnings, the transformation of institutional and social norms, language, culture, and the covering of all table corners with modified pool noodles:

1. Tend to stand on principle, defending ethnic and religious minorities whomever and wherever they are

2. All too commonly cannot see why a recent genocide and a thousand years of pogroms and ethnic cleansings across South America, Europe, Africa, and Asia could possibly justify the desire or need for a single safe space

So many of those who consider Gaza a refugee camp:

1. Refuse to see Israel as anything of the sort

2. Have never seen Gaza or a refugee camp

3. Don't know that Tripadvisor.com lists Gaza as having 4 and 5 star hotels and resorts, beautiful beaches, and amusement parks

4. Have never opened up their social media and searched for posts from folks living in Gaza (where Palestinians are found going to nicer cafes and bakeries, dress shops and jewelry stores than they have in their town)

5. All of the above

Anti-Fascists:

1. Are opposed to Nazis and Nazism

2. Have been active throughout North America and are documented engaging in acts of violence against people they believe to be even remotely Nazi-like, or even just slightly to the political right of the most militant of extreme Leftists

3. Can be found having difficulty passing on any opportunity to mask themselves and march through the streets chanting for the expulsion of Jews from “Palestinian land”, calling for the elimination of Israel and/or the genocide of Israelis and Jews more broadly, and have a strong preference for doing this in front of Israeli consulates and embassies

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

Immediately after the massacre and kidnapping spree, Samidoun, one of the faces of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) in Europe:

1. Issued a formal condemnation

2. Issued a formal commendation

3. Handed out treats on the streets of Berlin to a triumphant parade of Hamas supporters — who had just seen video of a German citizen executed, stripped naked, and her corpse paraded through joyous crowds on the streets of Gaza

Thousands of Australians in Sydney alone felt it wasn’t enough to share pictures and videos of Palestinians executing civilians or to discuss this with their friends and families at home or work or school the following day; instead, they felt they couldn’t even wait a few hours but had to promptly:

1. Come together in a public chorus denouncing violence, calling for peace, and demanding renewed talks for a two-state solution

2. Publicly celebrate the good deeds they’d witnessed and, at the Sydney Opera House no less, sharing videos of themselves setting fire to Israeli flags and chanting “God is great!” and “Gas the Jews!”

Students for Justice in Palestine:

1. Is a group that operates in Canada, America, and New Zealand with more than 200 chapters in many of our top post-secondary institutions

2. Promotes the worst acts of terrorism, such as October 7th, as legitimate and just acts of resistance to be emulated everywhere

3. Encourages supporters to help Palestinian liberation “by any means necessary”

4. All of the above

5. None of the above

In addition to organizing weekly gatherings and marches, the group Toronto4Palestine (who handed out candy as part of their triumphal celebrations on October 7th) have also posted on social media:

1. Praising Palestinians for their “next level accomplishment,” explaining “the Chickens have come home to roost,” and sharing that "a banner drop is happening today to honour and celebrate the resistance"

2. "The Jewish occupation" is lying about October 7th, with "made up acts of cruelty and barbarism" "creating a false genocide" and offering that they "may have lied about a previous big genocide..."

3. "We will go back to 1948, one Palestinian state. Glory to the resistance! Bring on the revolution!" "With our soul and our blood we will redeem you, Al-Aqsa!" "We will globalize the intifada!"

4. All of the above

Toronto’s mayor, Olivia Chow, went on social media and later the news to:

1. Read from an issue of Dabiq

2. Declare the city’s formal support for Palestinian liberation; doing so while draped in a Palestinian flag, sporting a keffiyeh wrapped around her head and topped in a green al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade headband, with an AKS-74U (augmented with a bayonet attachment) slung over her shoulder

3. Remind Canadians that their public celebration and glorification of indiscriminate barbarism was vile, that Hamas is designated a terrorist organization, and that support of terrorist acts and organizations is unacceptable in Canada

An imam in Montreal addressed a crowd by calling for God to “kill the enemies of the people of Gaza … kill them all.” *Wild cheers* Given that Hamas was and remains overwhelmingly supported by the people of Gaza, came to power with a policy of non-negotiation and non-recognition of Israel, and denies Israel’s right to exist while seeking its obliteration:

1. What was said can only be interpreted as a call for a form of inner spiritual 'self-death' (the divine killing of one’s ego) he and those cheering wish for the Jewish people and all peoples everywhere

2. This imam and the cheering crowd of Hamas supporters can be seen as calling for the killing of anyone opposed to any of the above (support for Hamas, rejection of Israel, or the killing Jews for the crime of being Jewish)

The Victoria-based imam Sheikh Younus Kathrada enjoys sharing his wisdom with his thousands of followers, especially young people. In person and on social media, he regularly offers gems such as:

1. That Jews are “brothers of monkeys and pigs” and asks God to “tear them apart.” Of the current situation, Kathrada explains "Israel has the right to defend herself? Seriously? ... Oh Allah, bring annihilation upon the plundering and criminal Jews"

2. "I want our children to understand this well, the non-Muslims are the enemy of Allah, therefore they are your enemies." Kathrada prays in his sermons with his fellow believers that Allah should “destroy the enemies of Islam and annihilate the heretics and the atheists"

3. Christmas is a “false festival”. And then he gifts his followers the expert opinion that it is worse for a Muslim to wish someone “Merry Christmas” than it is to engage in adultery or murder, that "congratulating people on Christmas is like congratulating murderers and paedophiles." And, just to put it in the bag, "Oh Allah, support those everywhere who wage Jihad for your sake"

4. Referring to the French teacher beheaded by a Chechen Muslim refugee wielding a cleaver (who had conspired with ten others, including an imam, two students, and a parent of a student) for teaching his ethics class about freedom of speech, that the teacher was “a cursed, evil-spirited, filthy excuse for a human being”

Mandla Mandela, South African ANC MP and grandson of Nelson Mandela:

1. Posted an image of the Israeli flag on Instagram

2. Published his intention to move to Gaza City and open a consulate there

3. Stood on the steps of Parliament, declaring over loudspeakers to a cheering crowd, that the Israeli embassy was no longer welcome in South Africa and that South Africans “stand side-by-side with Hamas … and will fight side-by-side with them!” Oh and then he brought senior Hamas officials to South Africa to mark the 10th Anniversary of his grandfather’s death

Judith Butler — scholar famous for popularizing gender performativity, the social construction of gender, and gender identity as being free-floating from sex — tells us:

1. That the October 7th attacks must be seen in context

2. That Israel is engaged in “settler-colonial rule” involving an “occupation” that enforces a brutal regime of “apartheid” while trapping Palestinians in an “open-air prison”

3. Hamas and Hezbollah are progressive social movements of the global Left

4. All of the above

Cornell University, the US campus with the largest Jewish student body: 

1. Saw a week of mourning and solidarity followed by a host of public lectures and debates with leading figures and subject area experts

2. Saw a heavy security presence, a dining hall locked down, and the FBI contacted after the sidewalks were tagged with anti-Jewish graffiti and the school received threats promising to kill any and all Jews on campus

Cornell University history professor Russel Rickford evaluated the situation (that of seeing folks sharing photos and videos of themselves gleefully burning civilians alive, desecrating their corpses, playing with their dismembered body parts, and returning home with heads as trophies) as:

1. An “exhilarating” and “energizing” event and a thrilling shift in the balance of power that any human being simply must appreciate

2. “The quintessence of revivified mediaeval barbarism; a synchronized protestation against modernity and attestation of a willingness to reside in the 11th century”

Tenured Columbia University professor Joseph Massad published an article:

1. In Electronic Intifada referring to the indiscriminate torture, rape, savage murder, and kidnapping of Israeli and non-Israeli civilians as “incredible”, “astounding”, “remarkable”, and “awesome”

2. Celebrating “settlers” and “colonists” still fleeing on foot into the desert 24hrs after the outset of the “resistance offensive” and hoping this would lead to a “permanent exodus”

3. Comparing the attacks on villages and towns of Israel by Palestinians to those of the European resistance against Nazi occupation

4. All of the above

Yale University anthropology professor Zareena Grewal declared to the world on her social media:

1. “The saddest day in memory!” and “Regardless of those involved, any sane person must condemn such senseless and brutal killing of innocents”

2. “It’s been such an extraordinary day!” and “Settlers are not civilians”

An assistant professor at UC Davis, Jemma Decristo, wanted her followers to know that:

1. “Despite our significant cultural and religious differences, we have a common interest in tolerance and peace”

2. One group of people they have “easy access to in the US” is “all these zionist journalists who spread propaganda and misinformation.” She wanted to remind them “they have houses with addresses, kids in school” and that “they can fear their bosses but they should fear us more.” (She followed these words with a collection of emojis including a knife, a hatchet, and three drops of blood)

Vancouver-based PhD and college curriculum consultant Natalie Knight found it within herself to stand before a cheering crowd of thousands and:

1. Encourage them to see Hamas as noble actors engaged in a “just resistance” and the atrocities of October 7th as an “amazing, brilliant offensive”, an act of inspiration that her colleague then suggested should be used as a template by all working class and oppressed peoples of the world but especially here in Canada

2. Admit that she recently learned the Holocaust actually happened, that in its aftermath and Israel’s declaration of independence Arab nations ethnically cleansed themselves of their Jewish populations while engaging in back-to-back wars of extermination against them

3. Condemn the brutal nihilism of jihadist violence plaguing the whole world for the last two decades and promising to continue to do so for the rest of time

UK PM Rishi Sunak condemned:

1. “Hamas sympathizers” found to be “singing anti-Semitic chants and brandishing pro-Hamas signs and clothing”, some of whom were arrested for shooting police in the face with fireworks

2. Far-right groups who formed a counter-protest and engaged in skirmishes against the pro-Hamas crowd, including 120 arrested

3. All of the above

4. None of the above

Having just received an aeroplane from Tel Aviv, a Russian airport:

1. Was swarmed by well-wishers with flowers for returning Hamas hostages

2. Was swarmed by a massive colony of those giant, orange Japanese wasps

3. Had its security overwhelmed by a riotous lynch mob. Many hundreds, chanting anti-Semitic slogans and looking for Jews, eventually stormed the airport’s restricted areas and made it onto the tarmac. Elsewhere in the region, a hotel was attacked in a search for “Jewish refugees” while a Jewish cultural centre was set ablaze and plastered with “Death to the Yahudi”

On November 6th, who rejected international calls for a ceasefire?

1. Israel

2. Palestine

3. Both Palestine and Israel

A temporary ceasefire in Israel’s war against Hamas was eventually brokered by:

1. Pakistan and Australia

2. The European Union

3. Saudi Arabia and the United States

4. Qatar

That ceasefire came into effect on:

1. November 22nd

2. November 24th

3. November 27th

That ceasefire was broken:

1. By Palestinian Islamic Jihad and Hamas

2. When a pair of gunmen who shot up a bus stop of Israelis who were on their morning commute in Jerusalem, wounding sixteen and killing three

3. When three IED attacks were carried out against Israeli soldiers and with multiple rocket attacks on Israel from Gaza

4. When Palestinian authorities refused to provide a list of hostages for release

5. All of the above

After Palestinians repeatedly violated their ceasefire agreement in every imaginable way over several days, much of the world’s media ran headlines like:

1. “Back at it Again: Evil Hamas” and “These Diabolical Jihadists will Never Surrender”

2. “Israel Resumes Attack as Truce Expires” and “Israel hammers more than 200 ‘targets’ in Gaza as truce ends”

Collective punishment can be defined as “sanction imposed on a group or members of a group for acts allegedly perpetrated by a member or alleged member of that group.” As such, collective punishment:

1. Is fabulous when done correctly

2. Mostly hurts the innocent and seldom has intended results (least of all at the individual level but even at the national level). I mean, just look at Russia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and North Korea

Countless people opposed to what they see as the “collective punishment” of Palestinians are nevertheless highly supportive of:

1. The BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanction) movement against Israel and anyone who may support them, even tacitly

2. The BDS (Break, Destroy, Slander) movement against any and all Jewish organizations or individuals anywhere in the world and on little or no evidence of anything

3. The mass murder of citizens — so long as those citizens are determined, coherently or otherwise, to be ‘settlers’ themselves or in any way said to be supportive of anything anyone is willing to label ‘colonialism’ (to any degree and whether true or not) and even if those people are, oh I don’t know, Nepalese, Tanzanian, Ukrainian, or Mexican students, labourers, or vacationers

4. All of the above

Those who started protesting Israel's response to the attacks (before it responded) also demanded that the response was disproportionate and wildly irresponsible, a new genocide on top of an existing genocide.

1. Journalists and scholars, offered things like "Israel's campaign among the most destructive in history", "unprecedented use of 2,000 pound bombs in Gaza", and "Bashar Al-Assad in Aleppo didn't kill as many civilians as Israel has"

2. They said this knowing that none of that was true or even close to being so and that the death cult, still overwhelmingly supported by the population, considers the best possible use of Palestinian lives to be as fodder in an endless cosmic war to rectify the wrong that is Jewish existence

3. Both and

4. No. Just no

It's obvious to everyone that Israel benefits from every civilian they kill:

1. "Obvs! It's not even close"

2. "You gotta be kidding me! Every life lost only helps bolster support for Hamas. Even the leadership says so publicly. It's the sum total of their war strategy"

The overwhelming majority of folks expressing distress over the deaths of children in Gaza, as everyone should be, show no sign of so much as even a vague awareness of the children killed in the:

1. Chechen wars: ~35,000

2. East Timor genocide: ~50,000

3. Yemeni civil war: ~150,000

4. Burundian civil war: ~180,000

5. Boko Haram insurgency in Nigeria: ~325,000

6. Rwandan genocide: ~450,000

7. Sudanese civil wars: Countless

8. Somali civil war: Countless

9. Eritrean-Ethiopian conflict: Countless

10. Congo wars: Countless

11. Sri Lankan civil war: Countless

12. Indonesian mass killings: Countless

13. All of the above. No f*cks given

14. "Lies!"

The recent Siege of Mariupol by Russian forces lasted less than three months. Since then it has been reported that:

1. By some estimates, 10,000 combatants were killed

2. 25,000+ civilians were killed, according to Ukranian sources (though the Associated Press claims the number could be closer to 80,000, given the recent discovery of many mass graves; and yet official confirmed deaths sit at roughly 1,800)

3. The Red Cross described the situation in Mariupol as "apocalyptic," with at least 95% of the city destroyed, including 82 of 106 healthcare service facilities, including primary care, general hospitals, children’s hospitals, maternity hospitals, and psychiatric facilities

4. All of the above

5. No, no, no. That's propaganda meant to minimize the genocide of Palestinians, and obviously so

Prior to the siege, the city of Mariupol had a population of just 450,000. As a result of the massacre there:

1. The deaths and destruction caused by Russians, in just this one city, appears to be a whole order of magnitude worse than what we've seen by Israelis over a similar time period and across many towns and cities, possibly validating the claims of the pro-Israel commentariat

2. Student protests mysteriously failed to erupt at every post-secondary institution throughout the West

3. No one attacked the homes and businesses of Russian-speaking people in Melbourne or Montreal

4. Curiously, folks did not establish boycotts of Guess, Nestle, or Carl's Jr

5. No one asked for comment or condemnation from Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz, Pamela Anderson, or Timothée Chalamet. And no one marched on their homes, boycotted their work, or forced anyone to repeal employment opportunities for them

6. Mariupol was not declared a genocide

7. All of the above

8. "Lies, damned lies!"