TIME STAMP

Today I was reminded that I had this weird conflict with my friends. We decided we wanted a stamp made to brand some paper bags for our granola offerings. I volunteered to get it done, mostly because the Printy Rubber Stamp Company was just doors down from my apartment. I uploaded my image and ordered the stamp. I reported back to the rest of my colleagues that it was on its way. They were all furious, not that I didn’t return with an estimated time of arrival, though that too, but that I didn’t have some kind of guarantee of immediate arrival.

That blew my mind. I couldn’t sort out how the timing mattered. At all. And I couldn’t get anyone else to explain it. As ever. If we didn’t have it for this round of bags we would have it for the next. If we needed it today, which we didn’t, we were too late and should have been better organized. (Or we could make one right now out of half a potato...) If we’d ordered a stamp from every company in Canada, I don’t know how that would guarantee the arrival of one by any particular date. It shows up when it shows up. And if they’d given us a two-day arrival window and it didn’t arrive on that timeline, well, then what? Demand a refund or compensation? Take them to court? File a human rights complaint with the Hague? What?

And I feel the same way about stamp delivery as I do about the bus. Every time I take the bus someone is there madly checking their phone or the printed schedule. And often frantically, multiple times. What they never do is call a cab or walk away. Ever. So why look? The bus always arrives exactly when it shows up. Never a moment before and never a moment after. What does following it by GPS do? Or confirming that, yes indeed, it was due seven minutes ago?

And when I order items from Amazon or a pizza from down the road or I call a cab or a friend comes to pick me up, they all have the exact same scheduling protocol. What in your world arrives with incredible and reliable precision? I’m forever staying home waiting for the internet guy or an important package to show up, with a narrow window in the confirmation email, and a second confirmation phone call or text message reminding me of the pending transaction, only to have them show up outside that window or not at all. Happens all the time. And babies and airplanes and fireworks and bookstore grand openings all operate on this same system, exactly. Don’t they? In this way, the only reliability is the absence of reliability. No?

Regardless, it seems we live in different worlds, entirely. I don't think doing more or having more information results in better outcomes, fewer errors, less stress, or significant savings of time or resources. That's never been my experience, while the opposite is frequently the case.

(If you're curious, I ordered the stamp late in the day on October 6th and it was ready for pick-up on the morning of October 11th. Right on non-schedule. As always. Perfect.)